Falling Away From Me
by Lilinpo
Summary: 1x2 song fic. I guarantee you'll remember this fic*


  
  
  
This was my first fanfic and the first story in my Gundam Wing site:   
http://www.geocities.com/shijinka/index.html   
and I was very surprised to see how many people actually enjoyed this fic. So, I decided to post it.   
It's 1x2 Yaoi song fic. Song "Falling Away From Me" is by Korn.   
Little bit angsty, and I don't recommend this to people who can't stand character's death.   
Enjoy   
  
  
  
Falling away from me

GW song fic   
  
_________________________________________________________________   
by Lilinpo   
  
  
  
_Hey, I'm feeling tired _

My time, is gone today 

You flew with suicide 

Sometimes, that's ok   
  
  
"Mission accomplished! As Heero would say," Duo looked down and imitated Heero's blank look, "Ninmu kanryou."   
Quatre giggled softly, while Heero ignored and started to retreat. He was too tired to deal with Duo now, after destroying over 70 mobile suits...   
_"Hell, everyone should be tired...how does that baka have the energy to kid around anyways.."_ Heero thought as he side glanced the cheerful Death in his killing machine. 

  
  
Duo jumped in the shower room as soon as he reached a big hotel Quatre have reserved. Everyone else was sitting on the couch, listening to Duo's joyful singing.   
"How does he do it?"   
Quatre asked, no one in particular. Trowa chuckled and Wufei quietly started to head for his room. Before shutting the door, he stops. 

"No wonder they call him Death...does he not have any feelings towards the soldiers he killed?"   
Wufei snarled and exit quietly.   
Quatre looked at Trowa, sadly. Trowa smiled and put his large and gentle hand on the boy's shoulder.  
Quatre was deep in thought. __

"You're wrong, Wufei... Duo sympathizes the victims more than any of us...combined.."   
Quatre looked up and noticed Trowa wasn't looking at him, but at the person behind him. Quatre slowly turned around and stares at the boy battling with his laptop, acting oblivious to this situation. Minding his own business. Minding _just_ his business. The two boys continued to stare, while the sound of Heero's typing echoed through the room. 

Duo, welcoming the hot water against his body, finally finished washing his hair.   
"Damn. Having a long hair irritates me sometimes...but at least I got a perfect excuse to take my shower time longer than the others." Duo smiled.   
"When Heero gets angry, I can just tell him, Hey, I have longer hair than you so..."   
Then Duo pictured raging Heero getting a giant pair of scissors (God knows where he got it from) and chasing after him yelling "Omae wo korosu!"   
Okay, so it's not a perfect excuse. Duo sighed and quickly reached for a sponge and a bar of soap to wash his body.  
As he starts to wash his body, he realizes all the scars from the past are still there. He stops washing, closes his eyes, and lifts his head up slowly to feel the beads of water on his face.   
  
  
_Hear what others say _

I'm here, standing hollow 

Falling away from me 

Falling away from me  
  
  
He looks down at the scar on his wrist. He follows the trail with his index finger, making sure it's real. And suddenly, he starts to scratch it with his nails.   
  
  
_Day, is here fading _

That's when I would say 

I flew with suicide 

Sometimes kill the pain   
  
  
Duo, realizing his nails are opening up his old wound again, smiled and leaned on the tile wall. Blood was dripping and the water was taking them to the drain. Duo stared at the drain, sucking up his blood.   
"Hn. I wonder where it's headed..." 

_Hell, maybe?_

"Is that where I'm going to end up?"   
He shivered at the thought. But why not? After taking all these lives...   
"Oh, God I hope so. Please have mercy on me and take me there now..."   
  
  
_I can always say _

'It's gonna be better tomorrow' 

Falling away from me 

Falling away from me   
  
  
"Duo~! Any day now~~!"   
Duo quickly grabbed his wrist.   
"Yeah~! Sorry Quatre... I'll be out in a sec'~"   
He scrubbed the soap on the sponge again and washed the rest of his body. He rapidly dried himself with his towel and got dressed. Before he got out, he opened his bag and took his first aid kit out.   
"Good thing I brought my bag in here.." He smiled slightly and bandaged his wrist. After putting the kit away, Duo decided to wear a sweatshirt to cover his wrist. He can just picture Quatre not letting him go until he told him what happened to it. He rolled his towel on his head so his damped hair wont drip all over the place. He opened the door.  


"Sorry to keep you guys waiti..aahh?"   
Duo noticed Heero was the only person in the room.   
"Finally."   
Heero turned off his laptop and got up. He walked passed Duo and grabbed his bag from the bed and headed for the shower.   
"Where is everyone?"   
Duo moved out of Heero's way. Without stopping or turning, Heero sighed.   
"They were waiting for you, but you were taking too long, as usual. They told me to inform you that they're going to be at the restaurant across the street."   
Heero shut the door.   
"Mmmmm.. food does sound good right now. Hey, aren't you going Heero? I am starving!"   
"Hn.. you're always hungry."   
Came a reply from the bathroom.   
Duo got his hairbrush out of his bag and started to brush his long wavy hair.  
"Hn? Did he just laugh? .. I must be hearing stuff.."   
  
Duo ran up to the restaurant across the street. As he entered, he saw Trowa and Quatre talking to each other and laughing. They really did look good together, except for the fact that they are both males. But Quatre could look like a girl sometimes. Even sexless. Duo recently discovered that Quatre resembled the angel painted on the wall of Maxwell Church. His innocence is dear to all the pilots. 

"Hmm~ maybe I shouldn't.. I don't want to interrupt them.."   
He quickly drew back from the door and started to walk. He looked up at the sky.   
_"The weather does not look good.. it's going to rain soon..."_ He thought to himself and began to search for a fast food restaurant.  
As he walked by an electronic store, 4 big sets of television came in his view. He stopped and watched. It was today's news.   
"Surprise, surprise! We made the headlines today!"   
The screen showed the dead soldiers on the ground, some of them were in millions of pieces and no one could tell if it was human or not.   
"..God... they should start putting sensors on this thing... kids could be watching.."   
The reporter, covering his nose from the awful smell, began to interview the families of the victims.An old lady was crying and desperately searching for the body of her son. The man beside her, probably her husband, tried to stop her but she kept pushing him away. She scoped the destroyed particles of the mobile suits with her bruised hands, calling her son's name.  
She stopped abruptly and reached down to see the dog tag on the neck of a lifeless body. She didn't move for a moment. 

"Oh no~!! NO~!!" 

She started to scream and held the body, but as she picked him up, his arm came off.   
"JESUS!"   
Duo shut his eyes and turned away. It was then he finally realized it was raining. 

  
He was standing motionless. After a minute or two, he stared walking again.   
  
  
_Beating me down _

Beating me, beating me 

Down, down 

Into the ground   
  
  
Heero rushed in the restaurant. He found the two pilots just finishing dessert. They both looked up, surprised.   
"Hey, Heero," Quatre smiled, "I didn't know you were coming.. Where's Duo?"   
Heero lifted his right eyebrow.   
"I thought he was with you.."   
"..Well, we didn't see him. Are you sure he left? I mean it's raining pretty hard..."   
Quatre got up and started to put on his jacket.   
"....."   
Heero didn't reply. He was about to leave when Trowa stopped him. 

"Is there something wrong?"   
Trowa asked, still sitting on the chair. Even though Heero tries to conceal his feelings, Trowa knew when something was wrong. He noticed the Wing pilot's growing concern for Duo. 

"...I found some blood on the soap he used...I went out as soon as I found it, but he was already gone.."   
He started to head out.   
"Heero! Wait!!"   
Quatre called. He quickly snapped the check and followed Heero, but Trowa took his arm. Quatre turned around, his face confused. Trowa took the check and smiled.   
"You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."   
Quatre smiled affectionately.   
"_Gochisousama,_ Trowa."   
He winked and ran after Heero.   
  
  
On the red bench, he watched the parents pulling their children's arm. The children, wanting to stay out in the rain, protested. Their parents sighed and whispered something in their ears. The children nodded and obeyed. 

"Yes, you better run. Or the _Kaminari sama_ will get you!!" Duo chuckled. His smile faded and looked up at the sky. By now, he was all wet.   
_"Hm..so much for shower.."_ he thought. He closed his eyes and saw the old lady with her dead son again. He pictured the dead son as the little boy playing in the rain just a moment ago.   
"..I wonder what that little boy will be in the future..."   
He said to himself.   
_"How old was that man? 20? 25? Hell, even younger boys were killed.. They were probably confused. Didn't know what to do... Frightened.."_   
Duo chuckled. 

"AND I KILLED THEM!!" 

He shouted and stood up.   
"Ha ha... Oh god... I killed them.."   
He laughed and raised his arms to the sky.   
"...Ha.. I killed them..all.."   
He fell down on the muddy ground, leaning on the bench.   
  
  
_Screaming so sad _

Beating me, beating me 

Down, down 

Into the ground   
  
  
"Forgive me.. please.. God.. Anybody!!"   
The rain wasn't the only thing making his face wet. He sobbed hysterically, begging for forgiveness. The war has changed him. The war made him change... Changed into.. 

"What am I?... Where am I going?.. Do I have a future?" 

He smiled.   
"..No.. I didn't have one from the start.. Oh God, make this stop!" Duo held his knees close and put his head down.   
  
  
_(falling away from me) _

It's spinning round and round   
  
  
Where did my innocence go?   
  
  
_(falling away from me) _

It's lost and can't be found   
  
  
Please, rain harder.   
  
  
_(falling away from me) _

It's spinning round and round   
  
  
Please, wash me away with these mud.   
  
  
_(falling away from me) _

So down   
  
  
I can't live like this...   
  
  
  
  
Heero had a bad feeling about this. The blood on the soap, Duo's sudden disappearance, and the sweatshirt….. 

"He never wears sweatshirt unless it's snowing."   
Duo was hiding something alright. And Heero had a pretty good idea where the blood came from.. 

"Heero! He wasn't in here. Let's try the others!"   
Quatre ran after seeing Heero's acknowledgement. They have been searching for every fast food place that existed in that area, but still no sign of Duo. 

"Quatre! Heero!"   
They stopped short and turned to see Trowa running towards them.   
"Trowa!! We can't find Duo! We've looked everywhere.. but he's.... Oh God! What are we going to do!?"   
Trowa embraced Quatre gently and calmed him down. Quatre's started breathing slowly, feeling secured in Trowa's protective arms. Trowa slowly peeled him away and stood in front of Heero. Heero raised a brow as to question him. Trowa grabbed Heero's small shoulders. 

"Heero think!! We wont find him this way! You should know that better than we do. It should be easy for you to figure out where he is. Think! Damn it!"   
Trowa shook Heero violently. Quatre tried to stop Trowa, but Heero quickly shoved Trowa away and ran back where they came from. Quatre stared, mouth opened. Trowa put his hand on his shoulder.   
"Let's go."   
  
  
  
Duo was remembering the good old days. Even though he didn't have a real family, he was happy to be with his fellow pilots. The war took many things from him, but it also gave him something important and he was thankful.  
He pulled up his sleeve and saw the bandage was still there, and so was the scar. The blood was going through the cloths already. He unrolled the bandage to make sure. To make sure he was human.   
Make sure he was alive.   
"Yep, still there. Congratulations, Mr. Maxwell! After killing thousands of innocent people, you are still human!"   
He laughed.  
Every night, he wished he could turn back the time. Even though he knew it was impossible, he still..hoped... 

"Ah, well. I guess there's always the Daylight Saving Time.."   
He was joking, but didn't even bother to laugh. He reached in his pocket, and got his knife.   
  
  
_Pressing me, they wont go away   
  
  
_ "...Heero gave me this to protect myself from danger.."   
He told himself.   
  
  
_So I pray, go away _  
  
  
"Well, I am kinda using it to protect myself... I think.."   
He giggled a little.   
  
  
_It's falling away from me _  
  
  
  
Heero reached the deserted park. He stopped at the entrance, breathing hard. He stared at nothing and began to run again.   
The ground was all muddy and slippery, but Heero ignored it, or rather didn't notice it. He kept running until he saw something. 

A red stream running under his shoes. 

As the rain took them further down, the redness faded. As if... it was purifying it. 

It was _blood_. 

As he followed the stream with his eyes, he saw a dark figure. The figure had one arm on the bench with his head on it, and the other dropped on the ground, red strings flowing from it. 

It was _Duo's blood_. 

Heero just stood there.  
Slowly, he advanced to the figure. He quietly touched Duo's colorless cold cheek, as if he didn't want to wake him up.   
It was so cold. 

"Heero!!.. Is he.."   
Quatre came running, but froze instantly. Trowa stopped behind him. 

Something shiny caught Heero's eyes. He reached down for it.   
A knife Heero gave to Duo last Christmas.   
  
  
_

~~~ "Well, I guess you want me to chop my hair off with it, right?" Duo laughed.~~~ 

_

"No, you idiot. This is for your protection. When you sense danger, use it." 

"Ahhh~! How nice~! Heero actually cares about me~~. I feel a group hug coming!" Duo pushed the four pilots together, and gave them a big warm hug. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"I love you guys so-much, it hurts!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
Duo was always the joker in the group. The happy-go-lucky-clown. He was the life of the Gundam pilots. And being the clown he was, he never showed the real face beneath the cheerful mask.  
Until now... 

Before he knew it, Heero was weeping. He was holding Duo's head in his arms tenderly. Quatre dropped on the ground, tears overflowing his eyes. Trowa kneeled beside him and turned Quatre's head to his chest with his hand. He kissed the boy's blond hair, and looked up to see Heero. He watched quietly as Heero's cries turned into a violent scream.   
  
  
_Beating me down _

Beating me, beating me 

Down, down 

Into the ground   
  
  
  
Heero remembered the god-like figure of Duo dancing in the rain.   
  
  
_~~~~~~"I love the rain! It gives life to everything. You, me, and every living creature on earth! People say it rains when someone dies.. The heaven takes people's souls, and in return, they give us life by giving us rain...but.."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_   
  
  
_Into the ground _

Screaming so sad   
  
  
_~~~~~~~~"Ne, Heero. You know what I think? I think it rains because God is crying. God is crying for those who died. His tears are what's keeping us alive...   


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I wonder.." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_   
  
  
_Beating me, beating me _

Down, down 

Into the ground   
  
  
  
_

~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I wonder if he'll cry when I die." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Note: I think it's an advantage for those of you that have ever listened to the song "Falling away from me" because, well, I used the song to illustrate this fic. (I skipped some parts, though) I don't really listen to Korn, but whenever I listen to this song, it reminds me of poor Duo going crazy. I can't figure out why though.  
For those of you that are confused about some Japanese words I used:   
_"Gochisousama"_=Quatre's quote. Japanese people say it after their meal, but in this case, it means "Thank you (for the meal)"   
_"Kaminari sama"_=Duo's quote. It is a mythical character that lives on the clouds and they make the thunderbolts. (Kinda like Zeus?) Japanese kids are often told by their parents that Kaminari sama will get their belly buttons if they don't cover them. (funny huh?)   
Well, I think that's all the confusing words I used. If you see more and want to find out, contact me at: shijinka@hotmail.com   
Lilinpo 


End file.
